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Neil Strauss
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author of 10 NYT best-selling books, most of which people put another cover on when reading in public.
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The more freedom you give your partner, the more room they have to choose you
The more demands you make of your partner, the more reasons they have to resent you
The more demands you make of your partner, the more reasons they have to resent you
www.neilstrauss.com On The Loss Of A Great Artist & Inspiration... - Neil Strauss Some eight years ago, a friend brought me to meet Leonard Cohen. “A writer named Neil Strauss is coming over,” he told him. “Oh, you mean Style?” Cohen responded. I was in awe: Cohen was, and... One of the best ways to sabotage a relationship is to be competitive with your partner's past.
That was then. Today, they chose you.
But nothing makes someone question that choice quite like having to defend it every day to the person they love.
That was then. Today, they chose you.
But nothing makes someone question that choice quite like having to defend it every day to the person they love.
It may sound nice to say: "I want to make my partner happy."
And it may sound reasonable to say, "My partner needs to make me feel safe."
But beware of the words "make my partner feel" or "make me feel."
While you are responsible for your actions and your partner is responsible for theirs, neither is responsible for the internal state of the other.
So instead of saying, "I want to make my partner happy," try, "I want to do nice things for my partner." How they feel about it is up to them.
Instead of saying, "My partner needs to make me feel safe," say, "I need honesty and consistency in a relationship." You may still feel unsafe if they're being completely honest, just as you may feel perfectly safe while they're being dishonest.
And it may sound reasonable to say, "My partner needs to make me feel safe."
But beware of the words "make my partner feel" or "make me feel."
While you are responsible for your actions and your partner is responsible for theirs, neither is responsible for the internal state of the other.
So instead of saying, "I want to make my partner happy," try, "I want to do nice things for my partner." How they feel about it is up to them.
Instead of saying, "My partner needs to make me feel safe," say, "I need honesty and consistency in a relationship." You may still feel unsafe if they're being completely honest, just as you may feel perfectly safe while they're being dishonest.