Adam Sharp

@AdamCSharp

1. Writer
2. Obsessed with lists
3. COMMON PEOPLE
4. THE CORRECT ORDER OF BISCUITS
5. THE WHEEL IS SPINNING BUT THE HAMSTER IS DEAD (geni.us/yDxa)

Where skies are blue (same @) adamsharp.me Joined May 2009

20K Following 48K Followers 22K Posts

Latest posts 5

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Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp Jul 17, 2023

Replying to @AdamCSharp

It’d be foolish of me not to mention here that my next book is called THE WHEEL IS SPINNING BUT THE HAMSTER IS DEAD: A JOURNEY AROUND THE WORLD IN IDIOMS, PROVERBS AND GENERAL NONSENSE. So if you want more idioms like the ones in this thread, please pre-order now (link in my bio)

Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp Nov 1

Just been to a World Vegan Day festival and there was an incredibly dramatic debate about what would roll to the bottom of a ramp the fastest, a chickpea or a regular pea. It got pulses racing.

Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp Oct 31

Louis CK sorry for the strokes
Will Smith sorry for smash mouth
Jimmy Carr sorry for killing joke
Defective peroxide sorry for 4 non blondes
Owl sorry for the who
Misogynists sorry for everything but the girl
UK beef industry sorry for madness
US government sorry for megadeth

A BBC headline from October 2023 that reads “Czech village priest sorry for smashing pumpkins” and underneath is a picture of carved pumpkins, pre and post smashing

Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp Aug 30

A list of lyrics if all lyrics were as profound as "I got soul, but I'm not a soldier"...

1. I got hips, but I’m not a hipster
2. I got plums, but I’m not a plumber
3. I got toes, but I’m not a toaster
4. I got badge, but I’m not a badger
5. I got meow, but I'm not a homeowner

Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp May 4

At a divorce paper signing…

WOMAN: I regret ever joining that Star Wars dating app
MAN: You were looking for love in Alderaan places
WOMAN: And I really regret marrying a Star Wars pun addict
MAN: It was a wookie mistake
WOMAN: Just sign it
MAN, SIGNING: May divorce be with you