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Stephen A. Smith wants his daughter to get her first paycheck before supporting Zohran Mamdani

Stephen A. Smith: “My daughter loves Mamdani. And I know exactly why, ‘cause she ain’t pay a damn bill yet.”

Trevor Noah: “I knew you were gonna say that.”

Stephen A. Smith: “She ain’t pay a damn bill. Let me tell you, she’s about to turn 18. And when that happens, fellas, she’s going to have a job. I don’t give a damn if it’s for a month. ’Cause I want to see her face when she sees that check.”

“I’m going to make sure she’s working in New York. I want to see the check. You know what I’m saying? When you went to work thinking that this is the money that you were earning, and then the check comes home and more than half your shit is missing.”

“I want to see what you say then. Yeah, Nyla, I’m talking about you. I can’t wait because I ain’t having it.”

Jerry Seinfeld names his four greatest Seinfeld episodes of all time.

Jerry Seinfeld: “Okay, my four, not in chronological order. And I actually gave this a little thought.”

Host: “Wow. Did you do a little work? What thoughts did you give it?”

Jerry Seinfeld: “I gave it some thought.”

Host: “Did you watch any?”

Jerry Seinfeld: “No, I don’t need to watch it. I did them. I was there.

“The Contest. The Soup Nazi. The Merv Griffin Show, because I love that premise. And the Marine Biologist.”

Host: “Wow. Do you want to go over how those came to be?”

Jerry Seinfeld: “The Contest doesn’t require an explanation. The Soup Nazi doesn’t either. Just the idea of the word ‘Nazi’ in the episode, it’s a Jewish show. It was just such a great, fun thing to do.

“The Marine Biologist, that was the best story tie-in finish to an episode we ever did. Jason’s speech at the end makes that.”

Larry David: “Yeah, that’s true.”

Jerry Seinfeld: “And the Merv Griffin Show, because Kramer finds the Merv Griffin set in a dumpster and sets it up in his apartment. So just based on that one sentence, enough said.

“They’re all high-concept shows.”

“I toyed with The Boyfriend and The Merv Griffin Show. I kind of went back and forth because I really liked The Boyfriend.”

Host: “Yo, that’s a penalty. You can’t mention the fifth one. You can only say what you said.”

Jerry Seinfeld: “I’m just conversing. It’s a podcast.”

Nikki Glaser says Leonardo DiCaprio's dating history has become impossible to joke about, because the punchline is older than his girlfriends.

Nikki Glaser: “I just don’t want to make the joke about how he has young girlfriends. It’s been done so many times.

“That joke’s been going on longer than, you know, his current girlfriend’s been alive.”

“The only thing we know about you is from a Teen Beat article in 1991 where you told us your favorite food is pasta, pasta, and more pasta.”

“And then he sent me three baskets of pasta as a thank-you. He sent me pasta. So funny.”

Jimmy Fallon: “That’s a good dude. So good.”

Nikki Glaser: “It was dry pasta. I think the company was, like, Mena Pasta.

“Maybe if it was a crib full of, you know, Dunkaroos and Go-Gurt, I would have been like, ‘Oh, he’s into me.’

“I made a joke. He dates young girls. I can’t stop.”

Ben Affleck clashes with Sam Harris over Islamophobia after Harris calls Islam “the motherload of bad ideas.”

Sam Harris: “We have been sold this meme of Islamophobia where every criticism of the doctrine of Islam gets conflated with bigotry toward Muslims as people. That is intellectually ridiculous.”

Ben Affleck: “So, hold on. Are you the person who understands the officially codified doctrine of Islam? You’re the interpreter?”

Sam Harris: “I’m actually well educated on this topic.”

Ben Affleck: “I’m asking you. So you’re saying Islamophobia is not a real thing? That if you’re critical of something, it…”

Bill Maher: “Well, it’s not a real thing when we do it.”

Sam Harris: “I’m not denying that certain people are bigoted against Muslims as people. That’s a problem.”

Bill Maher: “Right. That’s big of you.”

Ben Affleck: “It’s gross. It’s racist. It’s so nuts. It’s like saying those shifty Jews.”

Bill Maher: “You’re not listening to what we are saying.”

Sam Harris: “But Islam at the moment is the motherload of bad ideas.”

Ben Affleck: “It is an ugly thing.”

Bill Maher: “But not for intolerance.”

Candace Owens explains why she turned against Trump: “He turned on us, and on his supporters.”

Stephen A. Smith: “If the president asked to meet with you and talk to you, would you do so?”

Candace Owens: “Of course I would. Out of respect, I would meet with him and I would speak with him.”

Stephen A. Smith: “What would you say to him face to face?”

Candace Owens: “I would tell him that he’s living Plato’s allegory of the cave. Most people around the president control his perception. They are creating shadows on a wall, making him think that he’s loved, while he has no idea what’s actually happening outside.

“When I saw him cite the CNN poll saying he had 100% of support, when all of his biggest supporters have turned on him, I was really stunned.”

Stephen A. Smith: “Remind everybody why you don’t support him the way that you once did.”

Candace Owens: “I’m reminding people of when Trump turned on me, and turned on us, and turned on his supporters.

“My moment was when he looked at the cameras and said, ‘Are we still talking about the Epstein files?’ That was my line in the sand.

“Every person around him ran on the release of the Epstein files. When you get into a position of power and delay their release while attacking the people working to get them released, it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

“I believe he ran on starting no new wars. That’s definitively not happening. There’s no benefit to the American people.

“What about grocery prices? And then when he’s asked, he makes a mockery of it.”