Aidan

Skull and Bones is antiquated faggotry now, my friend from Yale was telling me how it’s just a total joke now

This was an excuse to say I’ve got a friend from Yale

This is a good example that actually the

super glammed up I’m a baby girl doll pin up post with all this make up I’m just a sexy girl who’s a baby and glamorous

Is inferior to the girl who dresses comfortably but in an inviting and not sloppy way

Everyone creates a new organization because they don’t want to swallow their pride and let someone else win

AF Post has maybe 1 one full time employee (me) and these are media orgs that have millions of dollars in revenue

Outdated models, entirely

I’ve always had a hard time sleeping, but since I’ve moved to DC it’s worse. I go to bed at 5; I wake up trying only to get 6 hours

But I want to “win” so badly. I was asked today what that means in concrete terms. I desire so badly to make things better in the world and for others. Disrepair itches at me. It’s like, even if I’m prone to disorganization, my room or kitchen gets to me, then I clean everything spotless all at once

I am this way with pretty much everything. I exert lots of effort in intervals and manage my fleeting attention by rotating tasks and chores; it is the way I manage my need for control

I don’t think there’s anything particularly unique about this, some people are just wound differently. And I am obsessive about my desires. I become those obsessions. It becomes harder to manage other things or natural curiosities if one thing is my current obsession

I throw myself at it and it doesn’t shut off, it’s this drive and urge. I have been lucky enough to find one obsession rather constant with all of this, which is that it’s something I can care about emotionally

I hate being told no, or doubted. I hate it when people I count on doubt me or make excuses for me. I have done far more than I had expected or hoped to achieve, and I want to build on it

I view mediocrity the way most people view exceptionalism; I have to succeed, even if it costs me. It keeps me up at night. I don’t think I’ll ever truly find balance, stability, or good sleep. People are right not to want that in their lives. But I can’t choose otherwise. And I’m not built in a way where I would want to be different

Some people, good people, have their whatever job, their cute home, and a stable family, and they love the normal things. People like me are driven by something else. And that stuff isn’t what makes them. Normalcy, the mundane, mediocrity- I can’t live that way. Even when I grew up, I always felt there was something weird about being middle class. Like I always wanted to be, for my family to be, important

Haha. These are deez nuts margins from 2016