Alex Cohen

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@anothercohen

Member of Founding Staff @hellopatient | Previously: Led consumer and growth product @carbonhealth | Hobbies include getting fired constantly | Mostly satire

Austin, TX hellopatient.com Joined April 2012

1.1K Following 233K Followers 40K Posts

Latest posts 5

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Alex Cohen @anothercohen Sep 4, 2025

Excited to share that we've raised a $22.5m Series A for Hello Patient, led by Scale Venture Partners.

This is by far the worst announcement video I've ever made.

I can't believe our lead investor agreed to this

5:56

Alex Cohen Verified account @anothercohen Sep 2, 2025

Our lead investor and I have a big announcement to share.

Thursday, 9AM PT.

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Alex Cohen @anothercohen 15h

This is my quant

Kris Kay | 🎲 444 Capital Verified account @thekriskay 21h

The affair rally:

$AMZN has added $2 trillion to its market cap since Bezos cheated on his wife in 2019

$MSFT has added $2 trillion to its market cap since Bill Gates cheated in 2021.

$NVDA bull case just dropped
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Alex Cohen @anothercohen 20h

I used an NVIDIA GPU to make this

Alex Cohen @anothercohen 2d

Would be incredibly disappointing and bad for Texas if our newly elected officials pushed Elon and his companies out of the state

Elon Musk Verified account @elonmusk 2d

SpaceX and Tesla have prospered in Texas, because we were not constantly operating under an oppressive and extractive state government.

And I need to be close to the factories, so that I can walk the floor in person. That’s why the first major SpaceX factory was in LA and first major Tesla factory was in SF Bay Area.

As California became increasingly difficult, due to extreme taxes and overregulation, we moved our major domestic expansions and HQ to Texas.
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Alex Cohen @anothercohen 4d

Costco shareholders today