bobby

somethin kinda neat i found out…if you ignore a problem for long enough, it either goes away or ruins your life. so 50/50. pretty good odds.

3yr old was sitting quietly in the bathtub staring into the middle distance, completely lost in thought, and i said “hey what’s on your mind” and she said “Batman.”

look man sometimes you gotta take a flyer on a jumbo fuckoff pack of novelty snacks from costco. what's the worst that could happen, you're out 18 bucks and you have to muscle through a couple dozen dog food-grade Spicy Miso Caramel Protein Clusters? that's called being alive.

i mostly stopped going on here for a few years and now every post is like "You can tell a lot about a person based on whether their favorite blue Gatorade is Cool Blue or Glacier Freeze." no you can't. why is everyone talking like that.

the most difficult part of parenting is when you’re trying to be a hardass because your kid isn’t eating dinner and then she points to the picture of elmo on her cup and says “this guy’s name is Gumper.”