Derek Deprey

A bad coach tears people down. An average coach focuses only on results. A good coach teaches skills and systems. A great coach builds confidence and trust. An exceptional coach helps people believe in themselves at a higher level. And the best coaches impact lives long after the scoreboard stops mattering.

If you spend five days a week counting down to the other two, it might be time to ask yourself what you're working so hard for.

What are you holding on to?

We want people to take more initiative. But are we giving them anything to take ownership of?

I kept thinking about that as I read the feedback from Building Material Suppliers Association - BMSA’s Built to Lead program.

Before our two days together in Matthews, North Carolina, participants described frustrations with delegation, heavy workloads, and wanting employees to take more initiative.

After our Nail the Handoff session, one participant wrote: "Eye-opener to letting me know it's okay to let some things go and let others have the opportunity to lead."

The opportunity to lead. That’s the part that stayed with me.

When we’re overwhelmed, we tend to think about delegation in terms of what we need to get off our plate. But the responsibility we’re holding on to might be exactly what someone else needs to grow.

We know how to do it. We can finish it faster. Explaining it will take time we don’t feel we have.

So we do it ourselves... AGAIN. And, over time, we can become frustrated that everything comes back to us while our team gets little practice making decisions without us.

Of course, handing something off takes more than saying, "You’ve got this." We need to explain what success looks like, why the work matters, what decisions the person can make, and when we’ll check in. Then we need to give them room to work through some difficulty without immediately taking it back.

That’s part of the move from what I call being a "most valuable performer" to becoming a "most valuable leader." Your experience becomes something you help OTHERS build.

I returned for Built to Lead’s second cohort after working with the first group last year. These two days were the beginning of work we’ll continue together.

Soon, we’ll reconnect virtually to discuss their Leadership Impact Project plans. They’ll apply what they’re learning to a real challenge at work and share their results when we gather again in March at BMSA’s Annual Learning Exchange & LBM Expo.

I’m looking forward to hearing what they tried, what was difficult, and what they learned along the way.

What responsibility are you holding on to that could become someone else’s opportunity to grow?

Thank you, Barb, the BMSA team, and Lynne at Conversion-omics Speakers & Consultants, for helping make this continued work possible.

It's hard to play your best game when you're constantly looking at someone else's scoreboard. Focus on getting better, not keeping up.

You'd be surprised what you're capable of if you stopped talking yourself out of things before you even tried. Give yourself a chance to prove yourself wrong.