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No no no LISTEN, there’s this hamster right, SQUEEKTOSHI, named after some postal worker in LA or something, and he runs on a wheel and the humans get MONEY, ok sure it’s that imaginary CRYPTO BRO INTERNET MONEY, whatever, the point is they built an ENTIRE ECONOMY on this guy doing our thing, OUR THING, you did it for forty minutes before dinner, and now there’s charts and markets and people writing extremely serious paragraphs about how much running he might do tonight, and he’s just there eating a seed, an ACTUAL SEED, I need you to understand when I say seed I mean the food, because apparently they’ve fucked that word up too, absolutely locked in, MEMECOINS, cryptographic hashes, an entire financial ecosystem resting on this man’s LEGS, and I fucking LOVE HIM, he takes a nap and suddenly the humans have to account for that economically, do you understand, his bedtime is a MACROECONOMIC EVENT, they have to PRICE IN THE NAP, and if he wakes up early that’s new information, people could trade on that, babe his sleep schedule is MARKET INTELLIGENCE, they used to put us in little plastic balls and now they’re building financial infrastructure around one of us, and the humans think they’re early, EARLY, we’ve been doing this for generations, my grandmother died on one of these things, and it all comes back to the wheel, babe, THE WHEEL, we’ve had the technology this whole time
